I do have real concern about condoning any physical violence (including smacking) of children. We are so much better informed about child development and their capacity to communicate which we as adults need to understand & respect. It is disturbing to have any community leader suggesting use of any form of violence against a child is the only way to raise a child successfully that are ‘stable and well-adjusted’- we as human adults need to do better and respect children and their bodies if we want them to respect us.

As I added in an earlier post - this matter, and my comments are forward-looking as sadly we can’t change the past and the harm that may have been done. There is much research and knowledge about childhood development and children’s capacity to understand and be taught gently. The reality is we need to help children find safe and productive ways to deal with strong emotions and big feelings without the need to resort to any form of violence- no matter how ‘mild’ it may be. A person’s body has a right to full autonomy and not be touched in anyway they do not consent to. Until we change the way we respect children’s right to autonomy and their own body safety by only touching with consent (and yes young children/toddlers can give consent) and there is absolutely no occasion when a baby needs ‘discipline’ in any form - we will continue to see children abused in a range of settings. We need to make sure any form of violence is not seen as an answer to, or response to, children’s behaviour which is a reflection of the emotions they are experiencing. It’s about the future and community leaders need to speak into the future in an evidence based, safe way.

 

I tried to raise my children using Steve Biddulph’s approach in ‘The secret of happy children’ …. they did spend some time in a quiet part of the house thinking and contemplating what might have happened and what they were feeling until they calmed themselves and then I sat on the floor with them to talk it through. No I was far from perfect - my own children are much better than I ever was at navigating the strong emotions and feelings young children have from a very young age AND babies are never ‘naughty’ or need ‘discipline’ they need nurturing, love, shelter, nourishing and help in positive ways to navigate the world and their emotions. Physical violence in any form has no place.